Encouragement: a little goes a long way

When tensions run high in child protection settings, how do we show we’re truly working with families, not against them?

I’ve recently had the privilege of observing Child Protection case conferences as part of an initiative to support strengths-based working.  Case conferences are a unique opportunity to demonstrate the culture of our service. 

It’s one thing to declare on a website that we work in partnership with families, but how is that seen, heard and felt when the pressure is on?  Atmospheres can become charged when the stakes are high.  To be able to reach out in kindness and facilitate meaningful dialogue – especially when the mood music is negative and the potential for a slanging match is very real – is impressive. 

A well-placed affirmation, for example, is a beautiful thing to encounter.  This is different from praise which notices a particular action and commends it such as “Well done for attending all your sessions…” and so forth.  Instead, an affirmation is noticing aloud a quality or ability “I’m hearing commitment… You’ve shown courage…  honesty… “

So long as it is sincerely meant and not simply a tactic to win favour, affirmations can help families build their internal resource.  They become more aware of the qualities within themselves and perhaps in their communities too, to build further on their success.  As importantly it noticeably builds trust and before long the person being affirmed is more willing to give ground or be more vulnerable and honest.  They feel safe because something in them has been recognised that perhaps they didn’t expect. 

Because all of this happens in a public arena, it has more power to influence as others in the room experience what happens and note consciously or unconsciously the benefit of working in this way.  I in turn ensure in my feedback that I affirm the Case Conference Chair because it’s likely that they are unconscious of their own skills and qualities at times.  We all need encouragement to go from strength to strength in our practice.

– Alasdair